Reciprocity

Remember the time you tried to kill yourself by swallowing a fist-full of Advil? We walked outside ten minutes later and you tried to vomit it out, but you couldn't. Instead, it came out slowly over the course of the next day. You were barfing every ten minutes. You were so determined to hide your attempt that you came to school with me, but you couldn't stay in class because of the vomit. I drove you home and you managed to hold it in for the ride.

I loved you so much, I was terrified. It was unfair what you did. You were so scared of being gay that for an instant you would have rather died than spend your life with me. Now you know how it feels to be abandoned. I don't wish you an unhappy life, but I hope you can appreciate what I went through for you.

I am scared of living here by myself.