Revisited

I know this blog is really old and I haven't touched it for years, but I can't let it go because there is too much of my life here to leave it behind. This, in addition to xanga, myspace and facebook (to varying degrees) are the only outlets I have been able to trust consistently. I hoard these entries as a record of my life, to make up for all those friends I never made, pictures I never took and letters I never wrote.

It makes me sad when I revisit some of these entries, but there were hard lessons to learn and I need to remember each one to save myself from having to relearn them.

My former obsession with Sleater-Kinney (still love them, though) seems a bit alarming to me now, but in retrospect there were many things going on in the background of my life that drew me to them. Their music kept me grounded and breathing during a really bad time.

After a somewhat stable period of college life, things are getting complicated and messed up again. I am trying really hard to be a good person, a loving daughter/sister/girlfriend and a compassionate, honest human being.

It shouldn't be this hard and I know I have it pretty good in many areas of my life, but I still struggle with bad thoughts and some really hurtful actions. I'm sorry.