Let's Call It Love

"So you want to be entertained?"

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Kill me now, please.

I noticed the color difference right away when I switched to my second can of paint, but the numbers were exactly the same, so I figured the difference was because this paint was wet and the paint on the wall was somewhat dry. This morning I checked on it and I wanted to shoot myself in the face.

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F*@% !

I asked my dad if the paint guys shook it up real good when he bought it. He said they did. Uh huh, so someone really screwed up, and it wasn't me. I was busting my butt trying to get the room done in a single day and then some paint guys had to mess it up. THANKS.




My dad has returned with a new can of paint. The paint guy said they must have left something out of the second can. Oh, wonderful! He should go work at some place like McDonald's where his irresponsibility will only cost people a few minutes to realize their order is wrong.

I am NOT in the mood to fix this today. But I must. Damn you.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Go Google Yourself

My friend and I were Googling ourselves last night to see what the internet thought of us. It was fun, interesting, scary, and somewhat surprising. She got a decent first result (a newspaper article she wrote), but the second result was her MySpace, which didn't make her too happy. I Googled myself and found that the first result was the most recent assignment I had done from learningtoloveyoumore.com. It made me a little uneasy to know that if anyone ever wanted to find me, the first thing they would see (or hear, rather) is some crappy acoustic number that's supposed to be "the saddest song." I shouldn't say that I didn't see it coming, since the website does warn that their assignments show up high in Google search results. Just how high, I didn't fully realize.

The next result was another assignment from learning to love you more. I was relieved to see that it was the picture of the sun. I had done another assignment that was slightly more revealing than a sad song or a simple picture. That assignment didn't show up in the search, thankfully. The next two results were two separate newspaper articles that my name appeared in. The first one was something about sports. The second one was written by a guy who came to our gas station and basically put us under a microscope to make a point about the gas cap. It was incredibly well-written, but still a little embarrassing.

The next few results had absolutely nothing to do with me, but the very last result on that first page was a Spanish blog. My full name appeared in it (I don't think there are many, if any, others with my name), so I was naturally curious to find out what was going on. It was written in Spanish so I used an online translator. Most of the translation was rough and needed some imagination to be understood, but I was able to learn that it was a blog about the "saddest song" assignment from learning to love you more. This person had listened to all of the songs and then commented on the different levels and interpretations of sadness. I have no idea how he was able to come up with his deep reviews, but it seemed really insightful from what I imagined he was trying to say.

"Another sadness is accepted to itself, and the acceptance is beautiful. Like the subject of [my name here]."

Incredible! He hit it right on the head. The song actually was about accepting my sadness. I wrote it at a time when I was realizing how fragile people are and how sad it is that we have to lose each other. Many of the people around me had lost loved ones recently and I was trying to deal with the reality of it. I can't believe he figured it out, and IN SPANISH. Props to this guy. And, oh my, is that a compliment?? :)

I'd like to thank a complete stranger for making me feel a little less lame about writing another "sad song."



No, I'm not a model.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Blahhhhgerrrrr

I don't know much about Blogger. I started using it for school a few years ago but now I just see it as a place where I can write random and stupid things, never knowing if anyone will ever read it. After I wasn't required to blog anymore for school, I stopped using it and only came back recently to find that it's completely different. Something I do like is Xanga. It's got some interesting things like blogrings and something new called footprints, which lets you see who visited your page. I don't make much use of the blogrings, but it's interesting sometimes to check out the Xangas of people who have similar interests. I'm in a blogring called "Obsessed with Sleater-Kinney" but there are only three other people in it. I think they're mostly young kids (13-17 probably).

I'm trying to figure out why there aren't more people in this blogring. Right now I suspect that maybe it's because the older S-K fans are on Blogger instead of Xanga, but I could be completely wrong on this.

A good friend from high school just sent me a song by a band called Guster. The song is called "Barrel Of A Gun" and every time I listen to it I think about all of the people who are obsessed with Carrie Brownstein.




The lyrics (copied and pasted from letssingit.com):

i know a movie star, i've got her plastered to my wall
just like we're dear old friends, like she already knows me
she's perfect as she seems, lifts me right out the Mezanine
i finally fell in love, i've been waiting forever
4 3 2 1 went out the barrel of the gun
keep my head way down
stay out or stay in
half dead and half numb
she's enough to make me warm
it's all so safe and sound
lie back and fast asleep, if you could see what i could see,
drip, drop a lovely dream,
God damn you movie star, can't you just play a minute more
we'd be the best of friends, you could stay here forever
4 3 2 1 went out the barrel of a gun
keep my head way down
stay out or stay in
half dead and half numb
she's enough to make me warm
it's all so safe and sound
she will be sweet on me, just like a mystery
its not so hard to see, if im not mistaken
she comes from far away(far away), and gets closer every day(every day)
and all that i can say is that she's all i want and all that i live for
4 3 2 1 went out the barrel of a gun
keep my head way down
stay out or stay in
half dead and half numb
she's enough to make me warm
it's all so safe and sound


Okay, so she's not a movie star (if you don't count Fan Mail), but it's close enough. Some parts of this song seem quite creepy in the "Carrie" context, but the part that made me think of it that way was the line, "i've got her plastered to my wall just like we're dear old friends, like she already knows me." I've got S-K pictures and posters in my room and I can somewhat relate to the feeling that it seems like they know me because heck, they're always staring right at me. I know that's a stupid way to think, but you can't really help it if you've got their posters all over the place. Of course I realize that it's all in my head and I'm not obsessed to the point where they're all that I live for, but I could really relate to that one line.

When I say "obsessed," I mean that I listen to their music every day and read up on them because they inspire me and make me want to do something great in the world, just like how they have done. If I was ever in Portland I wouldn't "st@lk" them (you know what I mean...I hope I don't get in trouble for using the word!). It's not that kind of "obsession."

Anyway, I thought the song had an interesting sound to it and I liked how they incorporated some Latin percussion. The chorus is pretty catchy too.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Yearbook Troubles

My little brother got his yearbook today. He's in fifth grade and my mom really threw a fit when she saw what the kids had written in his autograph section. Here's a sample:

-"U are sexy!"
-"Ur a pimp!"

Needless to say, no one ever made such comments in any of my yearbooks. We're so different, my brother and I. Apparently I got the brains and he got the looks.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Shut up, I'm not a stalker.

I think we all (or most of us at least) understand the difference between a joke and a serious statement. I also believe that words are constantly being taken out of our mouths and turned around until someone has changed their meaning into something we never intended to convey. You can't help that, but you need to realize it happens and be responsible enough to not do it yourself.

Don't assume someone doesn't understand something, and if they take it lightly, don't bash them over the head with your argument in an effort to convert them to your views. Yes, you're passionate, and yes, you care, but you need to know when and where to pick your fights. Kill them with kindness. The more hostile you seem, the more they'll want to fight you. Listening is most important. Maybe pay a little bit of attention before you jump in with bullets flying.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

The final final.

I killed my GPA on my final final exam today. It was Calculus IV. It was bad.

Usually I do really well in math. It's actually my best subject. I just didn't spend enough time going through the textbook this semester. I spent most of my time studying for dynamics, statistics, and mechanics of materials. I'm going to do fine in those classes, but math, oh math, whyyyyy??

Last night I spent 30 minutes rotating a pack of ice over the three main regions of my face. My mom read an acne book that recommended the ice-pack technique after a healthy helping of benzoyl peroxide. Amazingly, I think it worked. She's been telling me how great my skin looks all day today. It kinda cheered me up after my calc exam dragged my battered body through the mine field of college. Okay, it probably wasn't that bad, but it sure felt awful.

About a week ago, a girl in my class asked me, "Do you know that your pants have holes in them? What happened?!?! Did you fall down... a lot?" I responded by explaining to her that the system does not wish for me to wear unholy pants. My response to her:

"I tried my best to buy an intact pair of jeans, but I was unsuccessful in my search. Honestly, I could not find a decent pair of jeans that fit me that did NOT already have holes, before I even had the chance to fall down in them or to climb over fences and get them caught on rusty metal protrusions. No, they forced me into their mindless stupidity by not allowing me a choice. One of the holes was unintentionally made by me while actually wearing them, but the other two and a half were there since the beginning, sitting in the store for me, watching my desperate and pointless search, waiting for me to cave in and grudgingly purchase them."

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

I'm not a huge fan of MySpace, but...

I'm making a music MySpace. In addition to my "normal" MySpace (which turned out to be a huge waste of time), I'm now going to have a "band" MySpace (which will probably turn out to be an even bigger waste of time). I've decided to make it because:

1. It seems like it could be a fun way to express myself, which is exactly the reason why I want to play music.
2. Friends have stressed the need for me to put my music online.
3. I have no money to pay for a real website.
4. I can keep it as anonymous as I want. I can get input/reactions from complete strangers, which makes me feel less vulnerable than if I were to share my songs with people who actually know me. If no one likes it, I can live with that, but I'd be eternally embarassed to have to face classmates/friends who have heard my efforts and think that I absolutely suck.
5. Maybe I can find someone to play with. I'm running out of loops in GarageBand to back me up.

MySpace

I'm still having background difficulties. It was a really nice picture of Janet, Corin, and Carrie. I have no idea what's wrong, but it works when I preview the blog from the template editing page. It just doesn't work for normal blog viewing.